Insight comes from the one time in ten, this axiom fails. Credibility comes from spotting the other nine times before exposing the analysis.
11.24.2009
10.30.2009
A Blast From The Past
Someone very close once introduced me to this song - "How About That" by Bad Company. Well, did not introduce but made a reference as this being one of her favourite songs. That's all. But it's stuck to my head, heart and soul if you can call it that. The voice, the guitar riff and the long pull brim my nerves and pull me out of my mental stutter like nothing else. This song has memories too but they don't bother me like they used to. Rather sometimes I dream about how it would be to sing front stage like the singer. At times, it raises the hair on my neck stand out. It also soothes the frustration by building it to a crescendo, letting it run its fire and then slowly cooling it. The pace and length of the song is just perfect. I have this uncredulous disbelief when I find rock lovers not having this in their playlist. The lead singer once even claimed that he thought no one knew this song. Well, you have one very great fan here.
The same person also introduced me to another song - Pat Benator's "All Fired Up". This is another great vent for frustration. Pat's voice is perfect for this pop rock song lending that fiery credence and beating your head up happens it is muddled up. So as predictably -
The same person also introduced me to another song - Pat Benator's "All Fired Up". This is another great vent for frustration. Pat's voice is perfect for this pop rock song lending that fiery credence and beating your head up happens it is muddled up. So as predictably -
Current Music:
10.24.2009
Sometimes all the learning in your life, you unlearn with a single step. Like the slash of the sword which seperates the head. All that is left is nothing.
Current music: Staind - Epiphany
Current music: Staind - Epiphany
10.23.2009
This could be HeaVen
Ok. Imagine a place where:
• You can go in a cab from one end of the country to another for 30 bucks max
• The taxi driver offers to teach you Tamilian (in case you don't know and are from India). Chatting with cab drivers should be avoided if possible. They are prone to talk on any tangent non-stop. Some are cute though.
• You need to win a license from an auction to be able to buy a car. The car is at a minimum twice the market price. Some licenses only permit you to drive on weekends (red license plate). All these measures are implemented to contain the number of cars in the country.
• You are REALLY fined for jaywalking (I mean I jaywalk all the time but its a namesake). Most youngsters just pay the fine (20 bucks) and do it again so the Government is getting serious about increasing the fine. At the same time, they don't want to overtax the senior citizen jaywalkers. So they are in a quandary. How sensitive.
• Only two types of housing are available - Government and condos. Most of the condos have a tennis court, swimming pool, play area, gym etc. This is possibly the highest expense if you move to Singapore.
• Government officials earn more than most private company employees. Forget corruption. People are scared to offer a bribe forget about taking it.
• You get charged per tissue in restaurants (okay its a wet wipe but wtf). It is given automatically as they seat you. You think it's free till you spot the 20-30 cents in the bill.
• Should I mention that the places are so damn clean I'm afraid to step out without taking a bath lest I defile the place? Even the areas where there are no venturas are kept spotless.
• There is virtually no crime here. The headlines in most newspapers are without any juice. A suicide some months back grabbed headlines for 15 days in a row. If you commit a serious crime, you disappear (but seriously). There was this guy who slept with his employee in return for some immigration favors. The cops got to him on her complaint. It was in the news for some days and then he disappeared. And no one bothered about it.
• You rarely spot a cop. Cops are happy if they fine someone smoking or dirtying a place once in a day.
• The variety of food is mind boggling. The crab meat available here is multi-orgasmic for want of a better word. I could gorge on it for all three meals. The number of food courts are mind boggling and very inexpensive. You can easily get by on 20 bucks a day for food. Going to the pubs IS expensive.
• Shopping is really really really a delight. And as I write, I only talk about my experience on Orchard road, CBD and Novena. For e.g. you get a Carolina Hererra Mens for 39 bucks - a 20% discount if not more. It costs even less in Little India they tell me. And no fakes. Remember the crime thing.
• Applying for any license and procuring it doesn't take more than 2-3 days. Most of it is online. The tax guys are more than happy to see you in the office. A friend who went to apply with his 75 year old father had the surprise of his life. They seated his father in a nice chair, took his papers, filed the same and gave him his copy.
• Tax rate is around 12-13%. Maximum is 19% I think for high category. Time to migrate methinx.
• The entire population (99.8%) is in top shape. No fat, obese or shapeless people. When I see their lustrous skin and muscles normally ripple through the skin, the whites of their eyes, shiny hair and white enamels, it reminds me of college. I worked hard then to get that and these guys are normally so full of health. It's really something.
• Most of the people have at least one item in black as part of their clothing. It corresponds well with their white skin - no doubt. Just an idle observation. Also, most of the girls wear skirts which are above knees. Which brings me to the next point.
• And last - the girls here have the best legs I've seen anywhere - period. This has got to be something to do with the DNA. This highly intrigued me. I haven't seen a single girl without good, better or knockout category of legs. I plan to find out why.
Welcome to Singapore. All this from my 5 days of work here. More to come when I experience the night life over the weekend.
9.25.2009
A Fine Evening!!
The phone tinkled. I muttered a hello without looking at the screen. "M, I'm in Hyderabad for some time. Do we have time for a drink early evening?" Shocked and surprised, I sat up ramrod straight in my chair, mumbled my respects, decided the time and place, hung the phone and sank back into the cushion. The caller was my ex-boss of earlier years, the only person I am in complete awe regardless of time and age. Still. I quickly re-scheduled my calendar, cancelled the evening calls drudgery and thought about him. I hadn't met him for nearly 4 years. My last year of working in the firm directly reporting to him exposed me to the finest arts of management which were probably equivalent to an executive MBA in INSEAD or Oxford. I was fortunate to be handpicked by him suddenly out of the blue amongst the 3000 odd employees. His perception of the people he met was uncanny and his attitude towards everyone was exemplary. I still remember the 45 year old company CEO referring to my 32 year old boss in a huge client meeting, “When I grow up, I want to learn to talk like him". He could think ten steps ahead of everyone else like a Grandmaster and I remembered him demolishing men with twice his experience across the board room without seeming to try to do so. I came out of my reverie, looked at the time, shut my laptop and hurried to the car park.
We met in one of the quiet upper class lounge of Hyderabad. I saw him engrossed on the phone waiting for me. In any place, he would have been an impressive figure. His back straight as a pine, eyes bright and humorous, modish clothes with immaculate linen, he carried himself with the air of a man accustomed to deference. On seeing me, he boomed out of character (which startled me) and shook both hands for a long time and swept me to the lounge. I was quite surprised by this change and display of affection which was quite uncharacteristic in the time I worked for him. Well, I am not working for him anymore. Over single malt, he revealed his company was doing well, unaffected by external environment etc. and probed on my well-being. I decided not to waste this opportunity and poured out my troubles, the boss, politics and the entire 9 yards. He stared at me for quite some time and to his credit gave me no tolerant elegies. He was coldly and eloquently angry,"M, you shock me! You don't understand and that's what makes me angry with you. You do not lack talent. You have vast experience. You have at least a rudimentary understanding of politics. So this children's mode of behaviour you adopt is an incredible and inexcusable folly. In the fervour of a crusade, in the heat of a new situation, you slip out of gear. You change from logician to opportunist. You chase the lights ahead and forget the fires burning behind you. You have every talent that your boss has and probably some he lacks as well but you cannot or you will not focus them. So, always until now, you have been a tool of other men's designs. From what you have told me, you have the lever that will topple your opponents but needs the fulcrum which you must gather. I'm sorry if I've offended you, but I have so much regard for you that I cannot bear what you do to yourself. Let me show you what I mean." And then he proceeded to explain with two examples and observations on my similar battles with others during the time I worked under him along with a cross analysis.
Merde!! I sat rapt at attention, the whisky forgotten and glued to his words. I asked, “Why didn't you tell me this before?" For a full minute he said absolutely nothing and seemed to be staring beyond into some immeasurable distance. When he spoke, his voice was a little frosty, remote, like the chill wind of winter."To teach you a lesson, M. Don't trust anyone and don't waste your energies on multiple things. Comes a moment when all you have left is sap for one good loving and courage for one good fight. Don't waste the loving on a whore or the fight on a paper tiger".
With that we clinked once more, dived into the mushrooms and kebabs with gusto and maneuvered the talk to much livelier topics. I walked him to his car after some time and thought over the lesson. The bastard was right. Focus! Focus! Focus! Let your mind rule at work and the heart at home. We mistrust our mothers when they give us the nipple. The only things we believe happily are unprovable propositions like strategy plans from our bosses, milking statues from our priests and infallible Sultans of my industry.
I drove home, saw Requiem for a Dream again and sat up trying to close the exit route of my head lest the lesson escape ever. I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten to ask him as to how did he know to reach me and why, but maybe the universe conspired to help when I needed it the most.
We met in one of the quiet upper class lounge of Hyderabad. I saw him engrossed on the phone waiting for me. In any place, he would have been an impressive figure. His back straight as a pine, eyes bright and humorous, modish clothes with immaculate linen, he carried himself with the air of a man accustomed to deference. On seeing me, he boomed out of character (which startled me) and shook both hands for a long time and swept me to the lounge. I was quite surprised by this change and display of affection which was quite uncharacteristic in the time I worked for him. Well, I am not working for him anymore. Over single malt, he revealed his company was doing well, unaffected by external environment etc. and probed on my well-being. I decided not to waste this opportunity and poured out my troubles, the boss, politics and the entire 9 yards. He stared at me for quite some time and to his credit gave me no tolerant elegies. He was coldly and eloquently angry,"M, you shock me! You don't understand and that's what makes me angry with you. You do not lack talent. You have vast experience. You have at least a rudimentary understanding of politics. So this children's mode of behaviour you adopt is an incredible and inexcusable folly. In the fervour of a crusade, in the heat of a new situation, you slip out of gear. You change from logician to opportunist. You chase the lights ahead and forget the fires burning behind you. You have every talent that your boss has and probably some he lacks as well but you cannot or you will not focus them. So, always until now, you have been a tool of other men's designs. From what you have told me, you have the lever that will topple your opponents but needs the fulcrum which you must gather. I'm sorry if I've offended you, but I have so much regard for you that I cannot bear what you do to yourself. Let me show you what I mean." And then he proceeded to explain with two examples and observations on my similar battles with others during the time I worked under him along with a cross analysis.
Merde!! I sat rapt at attention, the whisky forgotten and glued to his words. I asked, “Why didn't you tell me this before?" For a full minute he said absolutely nothing and seemed to be staring beyond into some immeasurable distance. When he spoke, his voice was a little frosty, remote, like the chill wind of winter."To teach you a lesson, M. Don't trust anyone and don't waste your energies on multiple things. Comes a moment when all you have left is sap for one good loving and courage for one good fight. Don't waste the loving on a whore or the fight on a paper tiger".
With that we clinked once more, dived into the mushrooms and kebabs with gusto and maneuvered the talk to much livelier topics. I walked him to his car after some time and thought over the lesson. The bastard was right. Focus! Focus! Focus! Let your mind rule at work and the heart at home. We mistrust our mothers when they give us the nipple. The only things we believe happily are unprovable propositions like strategy plans from our bosses, milking statues from our priests and infallible Sultans of my industry.
I drove home, saw Requiem for a Dream again and sat up trying to close the exit route of my head lest the lesson escape ever. I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten to ask him as to how did he know to reach me and why, but maybe the universe conspired to help when I needed it the most.
9.23.2009
Ordinary
Once you accept the existence of God - however you define Him, however you explain your relationship to Him - then you are caught forever with His presence in the center of all things. You are also caught with the fact that man is a creature who walks in two worlds and traces upon the walls of his cave the wonders and the nightmare experiences of his spiritual pilgrimage.
9.22.2009
Movie Reviews
Almost forgot. Saw a whole lot of movies on the weekend. Skipped Milk, Full Metal Jacket, Scarface and The Shawshank Redemption. Replaced them with Requiem for a Dream, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings and Snatch (repeat). But "The Reader" caught my complete attention. Kate Winslet's metamorphosis from the largely sexy tram conductor to the decidedly unrecognizable prisoner was superb. The spoken and silent dialogues, suddenness of the plot and the Reader(Ralph Finnes - older and young male) matched every curve of her body. Ralph Finnes was absolutely classy as the older male and the younger one reminded me of the innocence that no longer is. On hearing the judge sentence her to life imprisonment, I was reminded of Emerson: "Commit a crime, and the earth is made of glass....Some damning circumstance always transpires". Victims of war continue to live long after the war is over. And the OST by Nico Muhly was fabulous. Clear piano notes have always drummed my fancy. Perhaps it goes way back in my childhood when I used to dream about having a full size piano in the living room. Now, thinking of the absurd amount of money I used to spend in 5 star bars listening to someone play the piano gives moi wallet a heartburn.
The blot on the movie list was surprisingly "The Memento". It didn't grip me at all. I lost interest halfway through and gave in to moi hunger pangs. Disney's "UP" unfortunately didn't match the excitement it created within me with "Finding Nemo, The Cars" etc. The initial 15-20 minutes almost made me lost interest but it caught up well after that. Hostel was a little scary :). Could be more than little scary for a lot of people but I enjoyed it. Also saw "The Revolutionary Road and Requiem for a Dream" but those movies deserve a seperate review by themselves. Awesome ones, really.
Current Music: Sam Brown - Stop
Skeletons of Society
If we could learn to look instead of gawking,
We'd see the horror in the heart of farce,
If only we could act instead of talking,
We wouldn't always end up on our arse.
This was the thing that nearly had us mastered;
Don't yet rejoice in his defeat, you men!
Although the world stood up and stopped the bastard,
The bitch that bore him is in heat again.
- BERTOLT BRECHT: Arturo Ui
History teaches but who is listening, eh? We have to experience everything for ourselves. Is this what they mean when they say that all that you think or do has already been thought or done in history? Though Brecht wrote his play with reference to Hitler, I wonder whether it was restricted to him or the larger beast within. For some reason, this reminded me of the movie "Anaconda" where the large beast moves silently through the large waters barely creating a ripple till it launches its fury.
We'd see the horror in the heart of farce,
If only we could act instead of talking,
We wouldn't always end up on our arse.
This was the thing that nearly had us mastered;
Don't yet rejoice in his defeat, you men!
Although the world stood up and stopped the bastard,
The bitch that bore him is in heat again.
- BERTOLT BRECHT: Arturo Ui
History teaches but who is listening, eh? We have to experience everything for ourselves. Is this what they mean when they say that all that you think or do has already been thought or done in history? Though Brecht wrote his play with reference to Hitler, I wonder whether it was restricted to him or the larger beast within. For some reason, this reminded me of the movie "Anaconda" where the large beast moves silently through the large waters barely creating a ripple till it launches its fury.
So Osama is back again. I hope they take him seriously this time. On another note, I am working to make a change from Financial Services to Energy and Green Initiatives now. That's going to be the next big thing methinx.
Current Music - Slayer - Skeletons of Society
9.18.2009
It's Showtime
The last few weeks have been mentally exhaustive which is totally unlike me. I mean to be bogged down by anything for long and just chewing the cud on it. I've decided to go on a movie spree on the wkend. The house is completely empty for a few days and I get to view movies with the full volume and effects on the home theatre. Movies already bought, gathering dust, I've been meaning to see for a long time and slated to play are:
The Prestige
Bitter Moon (Repeat but I can't get enough of Peter Coyote's absolute style in the movie and the complex emotions)
The Shawshank Redemption
The Reader
Milk
Dead Calm
Lost in Translation
Hostel
Little Miss Sunshine
Scarface
Full Metal Jacket (ok this is a repeat but can't resist)
UP
The Human Stain
Eyes Wide Shut
Okay, so you probably gathered by now that I am a big Kate Winslet and Nicole Kidman fan. That has nothing to do with their dropping their clothes at the whim of the Director but I am rather fascinated by the wild & crazy look in their eyes (especially Nicole). I love Anthony Hopkins for the same. After reading Hannibal and watching the movie (even though it was pathetic), I could relate Dr. Lecter with him completely. Also, Jack Nicholson emits a certain chill methinx.
Recommendations are welcome but none of the usual stuff please.
Current Music - Deep Purple - Child In Time
9.17.2009
Spring Cleaning
A few days back I was pissssssssssed down the aisle rueing over some stupid things I did (to put it mildly). Sometimes you do the worst with your best intentions. After the hard pangs of regret, really looooooong introspection and getting badly pickled to the gills (once), I finally got to my senses. Ironic way, but was effective. Nietzsche wasn't unnecessarily cruel when he said "When a tree grows up to heaven, its roots reach down to hell" or melodramatic with "And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you". I realized that it's OKAY to make mistakes. Doesn't matter if they are big or small. As long as you sincerely regret your actions and don't repeat the same ones. The last few days I have been doing what you call the "spring cleaning" of ALL (well nearly) parts of my life. And I'm back with a larger spring than before.
This is one of those times I don't regret of not being able to be in one state of mind for a long time. Especially, can't be down and out for long. Too much time at the pitstop and you end where you don't want to be.
Current Music: Phil Collins - On My Way
9.11.2009
adieu
I used to think that being wanted and loved is what everyone wants but I realised that being able to stand nude in front of the mirror and accepting yourself is more important and I fell short unfortunately.
Adios till I come to terms with myself.
9.10.2009
A Bright Sunshinin' Day
The quagmire I was stuck in is slowly clearing up. I am travelling to Chennai for a couple of days starting next Monday. Some place called Okkiam Thoraipakkam. And I thought I knew the names of all the places in India. Well almost all. This phase seems to be the blaupunkt of my career in this company so far. The Singapore trip will probably remove the rust on my passport accumulated in the last 8 months. And Mumbai suddenly seems possible too in the fag end of September. The Spore is happening in the second week of October. Ah!! Finally some activity. Time to get the Cheshire grin back to the face and remove the cat stubble.
The traffic police in Hyderabad seem to be OBSESSED with their cell phones. They are constantly chattering on the phone and managing the flow as well. One of them had the gall to request if he could see my phone while we were arguing about me breaking the light. The touch screen apparently fascinated him. And saved me a hundred bucks possibly too. I've met and made some impossibly personal conversation with strangers of all ages here in Hyderabad on myriad topics but making those couple of good friendships is eluding me. Sometimes it makes evenings a tad drab. Well, it's time to revert to the old trick of not thinking too much of something and letting it happen.
I find SPAR a fundoo place to shop for groceries. Almost international in touch and feel. Vegetables? Check. Fruits? Check. Non veg? Check. And I don't feel icky buying the crabs and fish. Amazingly, it stocks booze too. What else on a Saturday grocery jaunt, eh? Maybe it could include a massage on the side but I am not complaining, really. I visited GVK mall the other day and wonders of wonders, ALDO has opened a store. I don't have to visit 34th St, NY to buy those boots anymore. I pinched moiself when I saw it.
So all in all, its getting peppery just the way I like it. Speaking of which I recently started mixing pepper in the tea. Tastes divine to me. Especially early morning, reading the newspaper on the swing and listening to the sitar notes. Or Pandit Jasraj. These days listening to my favourite music gives me goose bumps. I can feel the ecstacy wave travelling from my forearms and rising to the neck. I think there is something happening within. Which reminds me to mention this strange incident.
I visited the large South Indian temple in Film Nagar on the weekend. I stay maybe 5 minutes away on foot but had never visited it. I am not a big fan of temples etc. It is really beautiful from inside and very thoughtfully made in terms of architecture and cleanliness unlike the temples I have seen in Mumbai. I visited almost all the smaller sections dedicated to each God but when I was with the Shiva ling, something happened (I've always been a big Shiva fan). My throat choked up (a sensation similar to the one I had while watching the movie "Life is Beautiful") and tears started to flow continuously. I don't have words to describe what I felt nor did I want to question how or why. Stayed in that state for quite some time. Later, I gave the coconut to the priest who saw it all and took his offered blessings. He muttered something nervously in Telugu. It was like listening to a news broadcast on the radio at a low volume. I nodded to him and went home.
The traffic police in Hyderabad seem to be OBSESSED with their cell phones. They are constantly chattering on the phone and managing the flow as well. One of them had the gall to request if he could see my phone while we were arguing about me breaking the light. The touch screen apparently fascinated him. And saved me a hundred bucks possibly too. I've met and made some impossibly personal conversation with strangers of all ages here in Hyderabad on myriad topics but making those couple of good friendships is eluding me. Sometimes it makes evenings a tad drab. Well, it's time to revert to the old trick of not thinking too much of something and letting it happen.
I find SPAR a fundoo place to shop for groceries. Almost international in touch and feel. Vegetables? Check. Fruits? Check. Non veg? Check. And I don't feel icky buying the crabs and fish. Amazingly, it stocks booze too. What else on a Saturday grocery jaunt, eh? Maybe it could include a massage on the side but I am not complaining, really. I visited GVK mall the other day and wonders of wonders, ALDO has opened a store. I don't have to visit 34th St, NY to buy those boots anymore. I pinched moiself when I saw it.
So all in all, its getting peppery just the way I like it. Speaking of which I recently started mixing pepper in the tea. Tastes divine to me. Especially early morning, reading the newspaper on the swing and listening to the sitar notes. Or Pandit Jasraj. These days listening to my favourite music gives me goose bumps. I can feel the ecstacy wave travelling from my forearms and rising to the neck. I think there is something happening within. Which reminds me to mention this strange incident.
I visited the large South Indian temple in Film Nagar on the weekend. I stay maybe 5 minutes away on foot but had never visited it. I am not a big fan of temples etc. It is really beautiful from inside and very thoughtfully made in terms of architecture and cleanliness unlike the temples I have seen in Mumbai. I visited almost all the smaller sections dedicated to each God but when I was with the Shiva ling, something happened (I've always been a big Shiva fan). My throat choked up (a sensation similar to the one I had while watching the movie "Life is Beautiful") and tears started to flow continuously. I don't have words to describe what I felt nor did I want to question how or why. Stayed in that state for quite some time. Later, I gave the coconut to the priest who saw it all and took his offered blessings. He muttered something nervously in Telugu. It was like listening to a news broadcast on the radio at a low volume. I nodded to him and went home.
Current Music: Jimmy Cliff - I Can See Clearly Now
9.03.2009
Pet Peev
Inane use of the :) emoticon drives me insane.
Constant or rather repeated explanation of your actions to someone close. Makes me think "Are we really close or is this a myth?"
The Chief Minister is dead and I am still stuck in office waiting for an approval. I am travelling to Singapore for 3-4 weeks in late September. Excited? Umm not really. I think that's a long time to be in Singapore. Besides I dont have any friends there. Now if it was Thailand :D I could Bangkok.
I met a CEO recently on one of my flight trips and he made me an unbelievable offer to join. The catch is I have to be based in Rajkot for a year. O reader, would you stay in Rajkot for a year if being a millionaire after two years is guaranteed? I am about to kick the bucket methinx cuz nothing excites me these days.
Other than my religiously regular morning jog at dawn, sweat rivulets streaking down my back and meditating amidst the peacocks in the Reddy Garden near Jubilee Hills. Feels absolutely divine. I hate the squawking though..
And I need to make some friends here. Really.
Constant or rather repeated explanation of your actions to someone close. Makes me think "Are we really close or is this a myth?"
The Chief Minister is dead and I am still stuck in office waiting for an approval. I am travelling to Singapore for 3-4 weeks in late September. Excited? Umm not really. I think that's a long time to be in Singapore. Besides I dont have any friends there. Now if it was Thailand :D I could Bangkok.
I met a CEO recently on one of my flight trips and he made me an unbelievable offer to join. The catch is I have to be based in Rajkot for a year. O reader, would you stay in Rajkot for a year if being a millionaire after two years is guaranteed? I am about to kick the bucket methinx cuz nothing excites me these days.
Other than my religiously regular morning jog at dawn, sweat rivulets streaking down my back and meditating amidst the peacocks in the Reddy Garden near Jubilee Hills. Feels absolutely divine. I hate the squawking though..
And I need to make some friends here. Really.
8.11.2009
1992 - The Cricket Match.
The car chugged silently at 30 km per hour slowing down at the speed breaker. Annie Lennox haunting "Love song for a vampire" filtered through the rear speakers occupying the mental reverie of the occupants. The track switched to Beyonce's 'Halo' as the car sped past the speed breaker. 'I didn't think you listen to commercial music" smiled Mamta. "You thunk wrong", murmured Madhu as he switched the track yet again. He noticed a small crowd at the side of the road and slowed down. Two boys were arguing loudly, presumably about their cricket match in progress. Madhu smiled and was about to change gears when one boy swung the cricket bat to the other boy's head with the teams both, booing cheering in. Mamta screamed as Madhu's head suddenly crashed against the dashboard swerving the car to the right. He automatically pulled the brake before his mental synapses crashed and transmitted him into the hidden recesses of forbidden memories.
It was 1992. Bandra was burning. The Babri masjid demolition post-mayhem had shut and sewn Mumbai completely. Spires of flames engulfed the skies as far as Madhu and his team could see. Perched on the wall governing the boundary of the cricket ground and Western Express highway between Bandra and Santacruz, the 15 year old was sucking up a pepsi with his chums post the match. The ground overlooking the nearby cemetery was located between his house and the school. It served as the perfect hangout after school for games and post-school activities. With schools shut till further notice and the cricket ground empty as well, it was just perfect for the 15 year olds to play all day long. Madhu could see Ramesh, the local self professed 16 year old school don from Building number 7 standing with his cronies all wearing Moslem skull caps on the 'Hindu' side of the highway. Ramesh and his gang were notorious for violence, theft and robbery in the school - the type you don't invite home ever. But they were cool with Madhu for some unexplained reason. "Why are they wearing Moslem caps?" asked Bipin. "Fuck knows", snapped Madhu still smarting from the earlier game loss. "Perhaps Baba can explain this anomaly". "What's an anomaly?" queried Vinu, the youngest in the team. A glare from Madhu was enough to kill the question. And so they were shooting the breeze and making idle drama when Shafeeq, their 14 year old 'Moslem' cricket pal suddenly emerged from gutter pipe below the wall like Phoenix from the ashes. Looking at the scared faced Shafeeq covered with dirt and completely wet from his prolonged stay in the gutter, it occurred to Madhu to help him quickly reach the "Moslem" side of the highway where he would be safe. But a tad too late.
Lulled of the false sense of safety by the skull caps, Shafeeq hurried to one of Ramesh's cronies and pleaded, "Bhai, mere ko Behrampada mein ghar le chalo jaldi. Do din se maa ko nahin mila hoon. Idhar meri gaand fat rahi hain Hindu log se." (Brother, please take me home to Behrampada. I haven't met mom since two days. I am getting scared of the Hindus here). It was over in a couple of blinks. In his mind's eye Madhu could see Ramesh and his two cronies guiding Shafeeq by the collar down the sloping road to the remote corner. Before Madhu could scramble to his feet and warn Shafeeq, one of the cronies swung the heavy cricket bat with full force at the back of his head. The front of Shafeeq's head exploded like a watermelon by the impact while his body still hurried furtively in motion, trusting Ramesh bhai to take him home. "Noooooooooooooooooo", the scream built up and died a natural death inside Madhu's throat replaced by bile and lunch remains to be spewed over at the side.
With a jerk Madhu’s eyes popped open to take in the haze of the crowd and Mamta all cooing over him. Heard someone muttering to take him to the hospital or home. Shafeeq was buried under the cover of night in the cricket ground, but perhaps no one told his mom that the 14 year old would never come home again.
Current Music - Don Mclean - Vincent
7.30.2009
The Violinist
This is not my experience but how I wish it was. This lesson is astounding and will stay with me to pull me up if and whenever I am going down towards the dumps. It's really up to us to create music with what is available to us instead of crying about life giving us an unfair deal in any walk of life. The power of staying positive is truly transformational and completely seperates the wheat from the chaff. This couldn't have come at a better time. Itzhak Perlman wherever you are, you are inspirational. Here it goes.
On Nov. 18, 1995, Itzhak Perlman, the violinist, came on stage to give a concert at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center in New York City.
If you have ever been to a Perlman concert, you know that getting on stage is no small achievement for him. He was stricken with polio as a child, and so he has braces on both legs and walks with the aid of two crutches. To see him walk across the stage one step at a time, painfully and slowly, is an awesome sight. He walks painfully, yet majestically, until he reaches his chair. Then he sits down, slowly, puts his crutches on the floor, undoes the clasps on his legs, tucks one foot back and extends the other foot forward. Then he bends down and picks up the violin, puts it under his chin, nods to the conductor and proceeds to play.
By now, the audience is used to this ritual. They sit quietly while he makes his way across the stage to his chair. They remain reverently silent while he undoes the clasps on his legs. They wait until he is ready to play.
But this time, something went wrong. Just as he finished the first few bars, one of the strings on his violin broke. You could hear it snap - it went off like gunfire across the room. There was no mistaking what that sound meant. There was no mistaking what he had to do. We figured that he would have to get up, put on the clasps again, pick up the crutches and limp his way off stage - to either find another violin or else find another string for this one. But he didn't. Instead, he waited a moment, closed his eyes and then signaled the conductor to begin again.
The orchestra began, and he played from where he had left off. And he played with such passion and such power and such purity as they had never heard before. Of course, anyone knows that it is impossible to play a symphonic work with just three strings. I know that, and you know that, but that night Itzhak Perlman refused to know that. You could see him modulating, changing, re-composing the piece in his head. At one point, it sounded like he was de-tuning the strings to get new sounds from them that they had never made before.
When he finished, there was an awesome silence in the room. And then people rose and cheered. There was an extraordinary outburst of applause from every corner of the auditorium. We were all on our feet, screaming and cheering, doing everything we could to show how much we appreciated what he had done.
He smiled, wiped the sweat from this brow, raised his bow to quiet us, and then he said - not boastfully, but in a quiet, pensive, reverent tone - "You know, sometimes it is the artist's task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left."
What a powerful line that is. It has stayed in my mind ever since I heard it. And who knows? Perhaps that is the definition of life - not just for artists but for all of us.
Here is a man who has prepared all his life to make music on a violin of four strings, who, all of a sudden, in the middle of a concert, finds himself with only three strings; so he makes music with three strings, and the music he made that night with just three strings was more beautiful, more sacred, more memorable, than any that he had ever made before, when he had four strings.
So, perhaps our task in this shaky, fast-changing, bewildering world in which we live is to make music, at first with all that we have, and then, when that is no longer possible, to make music with what we have left.
On Nov. 18, 1995, Itzhak Perlman, the violinist, came on stage to give a concert at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center in New York City.
If you have ever been to a Perlman concert, you know that getting on stage is no small achievement for him. He was stricken with polio as a child, and so he has braces on both legs and walks with the aid of two crutches. To see him walk across the stage one step at a time, painfully and slowly, is an awesome sight. He walks painfully, yet majestically, until he reaches his chair. Then he sits down, slowly, puts his crutches on the floor, undoes the clasps on his legs, tucks one foot back and extends the other foot forward. Then he bends down and picks up the violin, puts it under his chin, nods to the conductor and proceeds to play.
By now, the audience is used to this ritual. They sit quietly while he makes his way across the stage to his chair. They remain reverently silent while he undoes the clasps on his legs. They wait until he is ready to play.
But this time, something went wrong. Just as he finished the first few bars, one of the strings on his violin broke. You could hear it snap - it went off like gunfire across the room. There was no mistaking what that sound meant. There was no mistaking what he had to do. We figured that he would have to get up, put on the clasps again, pick up the crutches and limp his way off stage - to either find another violin or else find another string for this one. But he didn't. Instead, he waited a moment, closed his eyes and then signaled the conductor to begin again.
The orchestra began, and he played from where he had left off. And he played with such passion and such power and such purity as they had never heard before. Of course, anyone knows that it is impossible to play a symphonic work with just three strings. I know that, and you know that, but that night Itzhak Perlman refused to know that. You could see him modulating, changing, re-composing the piece in his head. At one point, it sounded like he was de-tuning the strings to get new sounds from them that they had never made before.
When he finished, there was an awesome silence in the room. And then people rose and cheered. There was an extraordinary outburst of applause from every corner of the auditorium. We were all on our feet, screaming and cheering, doing everything we could to show how much we appreciated what he had done.
He smiled, wiped the sweat from this brow, raised his bow to quiet us, and then he said - not boastfully, but in a quiet, pensive, reverent tone - "You know, sometimes it is the artist's task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left."
What a powerful line that is. It has stayed in my mind ever since I heard it. And who knows? Perhaps that is the definition of life - not just for artists but for all of us.
Here is a man who has prepared all his life to make music on a violin of four strings, who, all of a sudden, in the middle of a concert, finds himself with only three strings; so he makes music with three strings, and the music he made that night with just three strings was more beautiful, more sacred, more memorable, than any that he had ever made before, when he had four strings.
So, perhaps our task in this shaky, fast-changing, bewildering world in which we live is to make music, at first with all that we have, and then, when that is no longer possible, to make music with what we have left.
7.27.2009
A 'Crack' at the 'Gate'
The other day, I was talking with P, an old friend. We share a few likes - spirituality seems to be a common thread binding us. She was frustrated with her lack of "growth" inspite of going hard at it for almost a year. She was unable to experience the "well being", trance like", "euphoric" or even the "let loose and loco" states experienced by many others. I was in no mood to dispense any Zen to her. But like a lot of items which send me to another tangent, it set me thinking for the night. I had been through similar experiences too e.g. during one of the mediation sessions, the person next to me became almost an animal with his wild howling and berserk behaviour. All it required was the touch of Sadguru's stick and he became silent immediately and moved to a blissful state. I didn't envy that but rather despised my inability to completely surrender.
We all have experimented with some form of addiction, right? Cigarrettes, alcohol, marijuana, mescalin, LSD, coke and so on. Well, almost everyone has in some form or other. And not everyone can manage all of it. For e.g. I went bollocks when I tried LSD once. The entire system went into an uncontrollable planet where I just could not control any part of the conscious. Similarly with cocaine for the first time. The body couldn't handle the enormous boost of well being and awareness that flooded every core. The feeling of being superman crashed some circuits within the brain and I don't recollect anything else after that. The point here being, that not everyone is ready for an out of the world experience. It is not possible to pass a 1000W charge through a 60W bulb. We either have to increase the capacity of the bulb or lower the charge. Similarly for meditation, I think the experience varies according to the level of readiness (mental and physical blocks) and the super experiences happen only when we are ready to absorb the bursts at a consistent level. Discipline of doing it regularly and focus prepares our body and mind for the same. All in good time. And so P concurred with my thoughts.
You agree?
We all have experimented with some form of addiction, right? Cigarrettes, alcohol, marijuana, mescalin, LSD, coke and so on. Well, almost everyone has in some form or other. And not everyone can manage all of it. For e.g. I went bollocks when I tried LSD once. The entire system went into an uncontrollable planet where I just could not control any part of the conscious. Similarly with cocaine for the first time. The body couldn't handle the enormous boost of well being and awareness that flooded every core. The feeling of being superman crashed some circuits within the brain and I don't recollect anything else after that. The point here being, that not everyone is ready for an out of the world experience. It is not possible to pass a 1000W charge through a 60W bulb. We either have to increase the capacity of the bulb or lower the charge. Similarly for meditation, I think the experience varies according to the level of readiness (mental and physical blocks) and the super experiences happen only when we are ready to absorb the bursts at a consistent level. Discipline of doing it regularly and focus prepares our body and mind for the same. All in good time. And so P concurred with my thoughts.
You agree?
Current music - White Lion - When the Children Cry
7.09.2009
6.22.2009
Crack it or Crank it
Have you tried real hard; worked patiently for a long long time on trying to open something? Getting it to reveal the innards? And tasted the success? How did it taste? Was it as expected? Bitter? Sweet? Different? Disappointing? My uncle nudged me towards trying to crack a walnut using the thumb and the forefinger using any combination to develop strength. Took me 5 years of my teens before I broke the first one. And when it broke, I wasn't sure whether it was a flaky one. So I tried another one. That broke too. I tried cracking a lot of them over the next few days before I was sure that the adequate amount of strength has entered the body. Of course, the ma was shocked to see me doing it..the ability to crack I mean..
But I am not referring to the walnut here. Have you ever worked on a living thing trying to get it to open itself or nudged it to a certain point you wanted to? Slowly, patiently with exquisite delicacy; with time moving in fractions. I worked on one such project for over two years. And the result was delicious. Captivating. And unbelievable. Truly, the mind is capable of any damn thing - it so led me to believe.
Me being the happy go lucky forgot it pretty damn easily once I achieved it too. And remembered it last night. And I have a new dawn to look to too..Crank up the mental focus and energy store..Goose bumps.
Current music: Real McCoy - Runaway
6.18.2009
This happened today.
I was driving to work trying to manoever the car on the narrow lane on the hill. Now, anyone who has driven through Whisper Valley towards Jubilee Hills in Hyderabad knows how tipsy, curvy and steep the entire stretch is. Add the trucks, motorcycles, buffaloes, cars, bicycles, human traffic and the Skodas,Audis and Mercs. I specifically mention the Skodas et al cause you have to be careful of not only getting bumped by the other vehicles but also of not scratching any of the big ones. Add the dug up road to these and you have an idea of the drive for me on the 5 minute stretch linking the highway. The sun was shining in full glory. And I was very late.
Trying to go ahead and avoid scratching an oncoming car on the other side on one of the slopes, I noticed a man and an old lady trying to walk up the slope in this unbearable heat. Even in the fleeting moment, I could sense thier stress. His of trying to get the old woman up the hill and hers with the physical inability to do so. Normally I would forget about it. But not today. As I drove past, the tingling between my eyebrows would not abate and my thoughts kept going back to the two. Would the woman manage the climb? Will someone help them? The heat was oppressive. Just as I was about to join the highway traffic, I U-turned and sped back.
Just as I had thought. The two had not made even 20 feet progress. I halted the car next to them, opened the side door and indicated them to hop in. I saw the skeptic looks on the man's face so added my genuine smile as well. There was no space for me to get down and aid the two with a bunch of cars lined up behind me downhill. Luckily, a couple of laborers saw my predicament and starting assisting with the traffic. A closer look at the old woman divined that she was certainly not well, had extremely swollen feet & hands and probably parched as well. It took the man the whole of 5 minutes to get the old woman into the car after which we moved on.
Turned the A/c on full blast and I could sense the gratitude and relief pervade the car. The old woman was silent all the while. The man explained in broken Hindi that his scooter didn't have the power to climb the hill and broke down. The woman was operated on a month back and they were on their way to Apollo hospital. We reached the hospital gate in 7-8 minutes flat without further ado.
As the man stepped out, the old woman turned to me, blessed my head and held my palms for a moment with those utterly soft and delightful hands. I was shocked. Shocked because the touch reminded me soooo much of my grandmother. The same garbled, wizened look and oh so loving feel. My palms jerked a bit due to shock of familiarity which made the woman apprehensive and withdraw. I was tongue tied but smiled and held her palms again and soaked in her touch. She gave a toothless smile with her mouth and soda water bifocals. Alighted. I wished her well. And the two went inside.
I stayed in the place for some time feeling the vibrations hum in the front seat of my car. I wished I could speak Telugu. I was happy I took the U-turn.
Current Music: Lita Ford & Ozzy Osbourne - Close My Eyes Forever
6.15.2009
Peak of Confidence
This was forwarded as a joke but I found it quite inspiring to date.
Bill Gates organized a session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large auditorium. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.
Bill Gates: “Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.”
2000 people leave the room.
Kantibhai says to himself, “I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try”
Bill Gates: “Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.”2000 people leave the room.
Kantibhai says to himself, ”I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?” He stays.
Bill Gates: “Candidates who do not have management degrees may leave.”
500 people leave the room
Kantibhai says to himself, “I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?” So, he stays in the room.
Finally, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo-Croat to leave.
498 people leave the room.
Kantibhai says to himself, “I do not speak one word of Serbo-Croat but what do I have to lose?” So, he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.
Bill Gates joined them and said “Apparently, you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croat. I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.”
Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says “Kem chho?”
The other candidate answers “Ek dam majama...... '
If you want to hit a century, you gotta take more swings.
Current music - Lita & Ozzy - If I Close My Eyes Forever
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