Nowhere to be but here

Every step you took in life somewhere had a turn. And you made a choice which eventually led you to where you are today. The lines are etched completely and you created the shape. Every step you take is forever.

Our lives are made out of yesterday. That's all there is to it.You can't run away from your past or make it go away. People often talk of starting anew and having a clean start. And then one day they are sitting on the pot and they look down - Guess what they see?

Yesterday always counts. And all that counting at some point in life leads to a balancing of the books. After which nothing is the same. It takes a long part of your life to see what you really are.

I stopped regretting anything 12 years back. It's like stealing your own life and I can't do it.

My motto:
If you can fix it, fix it.
If you can't fix it, it ain't even a problem.

Current music: Alan Parsons Project - Dream within a dream

The Edge

The Edge - There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

I agree.  Born human is an event. The rest is an evolution. And evolution it is cause there can be no other reason for every one I know to be constantly in a state of unease for whatever their reason. Everyone is striving to be in a position better than the current one. The methods of pursuit are various – money, drugs, sex, extreme sports, music, violence, yoga, meditation, dance etc. Whatever the method the objective always is the same. The fact remains though that in the quest, the wrong method can lead you to a unwanted result.  And in the quest you sometimes reach the edge.

I don’t know how many people believe in rebirth or many births but I do. There can’t be any other reason for man being the only creature capable of dreams. Dreams which have no connection to present day existence but those which leave an aftertaste on waking up.  And over the years the concept of karma has seeped in too.  There is accounting happening for every thought, every action,  every movement. A debit which gets credited and vice versa before our last breath.  An end to the evolution would be to stop collecting new karma and delete the accumulated ones. One way to do it is to exhaust all energies in a bone wracking way. Day after day, minute after minute, moment after moment. Till it gives in.

And so I tried.

Today on the way back from work, the eyes were hurting like pinpricks as if some immense pressure wresting its way out. Gradually it subsided and moved to the temples.  And stayed.  And here I was observing all this sitting on a chair. The dance and the drama. I’ve modified my approach to life slightly now:

If you can fix it, fix it.
If you can’t fix it, it ain’t event a problem.

Khwahishon se nahin girte phool jholi mein
Waqt ki shakh ko hilana hoga
Kuch nahin hoga andheron ko bura kehne se
Apne hisse ka diya khud hi jalana hoga

Current music: James Morrison– The pieces don’t fit anymore