One monster called in response to my email and asked me, "Are you the guy who wrote "To love and be loved is to feel the sun on both sides"? I was stuck for a moment and then recollected it's moi email signature which I hadn't bothered to change for donks. He proceeded to ask me, "What does it mean?" I got down to a quick interpretation cooked impromptu to which he interrupts,"Are you looking for a room or for quick sex? What kind of an email signature do you send out while searching for a room? The fused moi bulb and I ranted out a quick and loud "Fcuk you. What's your problem? Are you renting rooms or pimpin?" A moments silence. And an embarrassed cough and half hearted laugh,"Shit maan. I was checking if you are straight or not. I get hundreds of emails and...yada yada"..The bugger didn't finalize the room but he sure screwed moi head..Arrgh..
Then there is this joker who says,"I will let you have moi apartment in midtown for 200 bucks a month". I ponder. Is moi ass in jeopardy? Silence. I asked,"And why do I get such a honorable price?" He says, "If you are willing to babysit moi kid for 4 hours a day, I could share the room for 200 bucks." Right. And me on a business visa. Something happens to the little one. I get overhauled faster than a speeding bullet to the nearest lockup. Tempting as it was, it was a definite no :(
And to beat everything, there is this plain whacko who advertises $ 100 for a month if the tenant will parade in an underwear when he is at home. And no - he is not interested in sex but once in a while he may feel you all over. Yeah, feel me if you can but you aint feeling anything ever in your life after that...
Then there are the desis on sulekha who ask, " Do you drink? Do you smoke? Are you from South India? Are you non-veg?" Are we talking about renting a room or am I up sitting in the marriage market?
And I still haven't found a room..Is anybody listening?
