What is Philosophy?

Art Critic 1: "I think the neo-plasticism of the abstract design proves the mystical, metaphysical and non-humanistic approach to the objective concept of abstraction."
Art Critic 2: "Yes, you have a point there! In fact, it's obvious even from a casual glance that this painting was created by paranoiac-critical activity, brought about by spontaneous dynamic sensations, sometimes made by somnambulistically inclined campanologists, who create a picture of transcendental non-curvilinear objects expressing subjective feelings in a cubistic manner."
Art Critic 3: "I fully agree with you both - It is a rubbish painting!"

One man came to a philosopher. He was worried; he is the father of a beautiful daughter. He was very much worried. He said, "Every morning she feels a little sick, and I have been to all the doctors and they say nothng is wrong. So what to do?"
The philosopher closed his eyes, contemplated on the problem, then he opened his eys and said, "Do you give her milk before she goes to bed at night?"
The man said, "Yes".
The philosopher said, " Now, I have found the problem: if you give milk to a child, then the child changes sides the whole night from right to left, from left to right, and through the churning the milk becomes curd. Then the curd becomes cheese, and then the cheese becomes butter, then the butter becomes fat, then the fat becomes sugar, then the sugar becomes alcohol — and, of course, in the morning she has a hangover."

That is what all philosophies are: some explanation of things; some explanation of things which cannot be explained; pretending to know about something which is not known. But they make life convenient. You can sleep well; they are like tranquilizers. They give you dreams, utopias. Ha! Ha! Ha!