Conflict!!

A very beautiful widow once came to see Mulla Nasruddin to ask for his advice. She said, "I am in trouble and you have to help me. I am in love with a very handsome man, younger than me, but he is poor. And an old man, who is very, very rich and ugly is in love with me. So what should I do? Which one should I marry?"

Mulla Nasruddin closed his eyes, pondered, and said,"Marry the rich man, and be good to the poor."

The Emperor's New Clothes

How difficult is it to be in nude of someone? Completely nude I mean? It's damn tough, right? And you can't do it with everyone.

But I am finding more and more layers to unfold before I discover the core..Old memories come back like bad sectors from the subconscious and add to the layers..

But the weight is definitely less. It's making me lighter..Getting ready to fly.float.soar. you name it..

Guts are beautiful..

Kingfisher ponderings!!

I was just thinking of deleting a few people on gtalk, ymessenger, facebook or even orkut. It's all about conversation, interaction..the network right?

Yawn..this isn't going anywhere. Maybe I will do it tonight or tomorrow.

P.S - I deleted a lot of eff words here. So maybe there is room for still one more of Mallya's good times..

"To know the pain of too much tenderness"

Gibran, you bastard.

The Silver Lining

After what seems like eternity, I "felt". That something which keep you going through the trials and tribulations. That which makes you face shit and smile. It had disappeared for years. I thought it died.

But the tide turned :). Heidigger once said, "For authentic living what is necessary is the resolute confrontation of death." Life happens whether you make plans or not. I slipped out of the thaw of winter which ensconced me so passionately from the warmth of the cherry blossoms. It's good to be alive. It's great to feel. It's exquisite.

The Wait!!

It's the waiting that's the toughest part. And it's different than waiting for a bus. Or waiting for the phone to ring. It's the waiting with uncertainty. When there is just a probability. When all that you can do is wait. When all you have are memories. And hope.

But it's the wait that counts. That makes it all the more worth it. Like having to say your prayers before food when you have been hungry for the past 8 hours. It's the wait with it's weight in gold.

Midnight Rumi

Time is the most precious commodity of all. We all are born with a reasonable degree of intelligence to lead our lives which are inherently simple. I did a small exercise which seemed silly at the onset but gave some astounding results. I jotted down everything that was running through my mind for ten minutes on a piece of paper. I couldn't believe the unproductivity and the schizophrenia. Which then led me to wonder why do we complicate life when it's so easy to keep it simple. The amount of time I waste in doing nothing (just idling) is amazing. And to think I get paid heavily at work to do that. And there is a price to be paid for idling unnecessarily otherwise too.

I don't want to wake up one day, look in the mirror and see each wrinkle pointing out all the minutes wasted in the if-what equation. Meditation is helping immensely but I am still not even halfway there. There is a drastic improvement but the yardstick I have set is quite severe. It's got to be 100% or it's going to take helluva lot time. Nothing without a bit of a trial and tribulation.

Luck By Chance

I ended up watching "Luck by Chance" by chance..Slumdog will have to wait for another night. I felt they drew inspiration from Page 3..But let's leave this hogwash..Overall a little fluffy for me but you could draw some takeaways from this..And we as Indians better grasp the reality of life instead of being in constant denial..To reach the top you have to step over a few bodies..I don't advocate it but that's the way it is for all those who have reached heights..The sooner we accept the better..Shakrukh's insight could have been written by him. For once he acted himself and gave some stellar advice which is the same across all walks of life..And so is Konkona Sen at the end with Farhan "what to do - we are like this only"...Decent songs, good acting by Farhan, Konkona. Dimple was given a brief but powerful role with dialogues to match..3 on 5 is the rating.

It's time!!

Wrote this exactly a year back. Found it amongst the drafts. Still remember why I had written this one. And that too sitting in Ten Downing Street. LoL..

You know there's an end to everything, right? Heidigger once said, "For authentic living what is necessary is the resolute confrontation of death." I often pondered on the statement. I've always lived most of my life in halves. Always trying to understand both sides of the arguement. Jack of no trades but masters of some. Scared to make the quantum leap. Living the lukewarm life for most. Till it grew on me some days back. Till it struck. It reflected in my daily life, my writing, my conversations, relationships. Those who sensed always said, "Don't hold back. Why can't you open up completely? Don't deny the potential. Let the dam burst." And there were fortunately I say - very few of those. My mom. My ex-boss. A close friend for some time.

I am ready for the transformation. From the moth to the butterfly. To dare and live completely. To test the boundaries of my passion, conviction and brevity against temptation and surpass it. Unconsciously I've been taking baby steps which I realised just a few hours ago. Subconscious resistance to various temptations finally turning conscious.

And so this too must pass as I turn a new page of a new chapter of a new book. It's time to test the mettle against all the sacred I ignored deigning it less than worthy.

Jean Anouilh - "Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage."

Current Music - Queen - The Show Must Go On

The Most Mis Under Estimated President

http://epaper.expressbuzz.com/NE/NE/2009/01/20/ArticleHtmls/20_01_2009_011_001.shtml?Mode=1

Honest to God I have not laughed so hard and so much in recent times...I would love Bush for this reason only :)) :)) :))

Out of the pan, into the fire

"How often the fear of one evil leads us into a worse"

I can totally relate to this.

Sign on a Tee

"France sucks. Paris swallows.."

For all those who didn't get it, maybe youtube?

I should have bought that one..shucks..

Sorry For The Crude Lingo!!

But I had an online orgasm tonite on 18th Jan listening to Gabriel Grovlez "Le Pasteur" on youtube..I never imagined it would be uploaded there..even if its a copy..I humbly request CJ Duffy to courier it to me..All expenses paid if he can lay hands on it...I've been searching, dying and finally "orgasmin" on it tonite..With Bach's Goldberg Variations and this one, I can spend the rest of moi life on an island...

I mentioned it earlier here: http://whitemagpieflights.blogspot.com/2006/09/silent-touch.html

Oh God!! Terrifying voice!!

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=ZditBc1SGYA&feature=related

Listening to him at night on the ipod is some experience..Heard this for the first time..Wot intensity!!

The Final Nail!!

One has not watched life very observantly if one has never seen the hand that - kills tenderly

So Close No Matter How Far!!

If you want the bond to hold, bite on it - free and bold.

You Know What?

It's way too easy to forgive everyone. But to forgive oneself, it's so tough. To remember that just one time which you would have given everything to change. But you went ahead and did it inspite of the realisation of the consequences. And cried at the moment of truth.

Has something like this ever happened with you? Something that still plagues the core of you?

Mushy Tag

Picked this from Arunima.

1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?
Happened once. In fact the only time I really fell in love. Went into extreme depression. Nietzsche rescued me. What didn't kill me, made me stronger. Now it wouldn't affect me. In fact I lost moi extra sensitivity after that relationship.

2. What’s it that you see in an ideal partner?
Full of enthusiasm and ability to laugh.

3. What, according to you, is the perfect date?
Shitty question.

4. Would you like to have children soon enough? Or would you wait till your mid-thirties for the first child?
I think these days children should be had between 22-26. Else, the generation gap would really widen and cause a lot of trouble. As it is, kids learn terribly fast these days and don't respect elders who cant keep up the pace.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
Yes (if it's a gurl)


6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved by someone. You really have to be worth it to elicit such a rare feeling.


7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
Couple of hours. If it's going to take more time, I will watch the movie alone.

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
Move on.

9. What do you think are the foundation stones of a good relationship?
Honesty - only one stone is enough.

10. What according to you is the most beautiful thing about relationships or marriage?
Should rephrase it to good relationships or good marriage eh? Beautiful is acceptance of the crazy side of the other and persevering with it.

11. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Owner of one of the best pubs, salon and therapy center. With a huge library to match.

12. What’s your fear?
Fade away without making a difference.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
She didn't tag me. Had nothing else to write so this is it.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Single=rich. Married=poor. What kind of a question is this? But single definitely has its plus points.

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
The first.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
Of course. When I love someone, its all or nothing.

17. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
Forget yes. Forgiveness doesn't count.

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
Can't you be single yet in a relationship? Single in a relationship sounds great to me.

3:34 a.m. Insomnia

Well, I've am upto no good. I am in the twilight zone right now but no can sleep. Finished reading a novel, succeeded in inserting a widget on the blog, saw an utterly crap French movie called Paaprika with roomie at home (he said it's a comedy and turned out to be French soft porn) but sleep still eludes me. And no one's online. Silly of me to expect anyone on a Saturday night eh? I can't wait to return to Mumbai for the Xmas. At times like these, the devil dances on one shoulder taunting me, " What the f... made you leave Mumbai and come here?" And the Angel on the other chirps,"You very well know why you left Mumbai. Persevere."

No points for guessing who gets squeezed in between. Sometimes night time ain't the right time.

Tales of Mystery and Imagination

Brilliance personified. I've been listening to this album relentlessly. Over years. Since I turned 14. Tape. LP. CD. One of the top 3 albums I inaugurated moi Blaupunkt with on a sultry evening on the Reclamation road. Listen to both - one after the other. It's electrifying. Especially with headphones. Alan Parsons Project "Tales of Mystery and Imagination". It's based on Edgar Allen Poe.

A Dream Within A Dream - http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=VZyNKrYo9I4&feature=related

The Raven - http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=RcbWkMvMHrU&feature=related

You would not be mistaken to spot similarities to Pink Floyd. Parsons was the sound engineer for "The Dark Side of The Moon".