4.07.2010
Insomnia lead
I saw "Insomnia" over the weekend. Nothing spectacular about the movie. Al Pacino and Robin Williams doing their usual thing and Hillary Swank looking feminine for a change. What was spectacular was that it was shot in Alaska. Anchorage and nearby locations. I think any damn thing in this world can trigger memories. Looking at the sheer, mind numbing depth of Alaska's beauty brought me memories of a dear dear friend from Anchorage. A magnificient lady living with her husband in a nice cottage, shooting moose for food :) and enjoying life. I connected to her in the early years of my internet chatting life. I no longer chat like earlier but a few friends I made in that March of 2000 are still in close touch though communication has been on and off. Unfortunately, not this one. I lost touch with her in 2007. Realised it in 2008 when I was cleaning my inbox and read one of her 2002 emails. I am a sucker for old stuff and deleting emails from people I cherish is a big no-no. I shot an email to her address and got a bounce. Numerous bounces to her different email addresses. That got me worried. This was a lady who used to paint and write on me (nuts methinx) and me just losing touch in the black vaccuum was unforgiveable. So I delved a little deeper into the internet (thank god for internet). A reverse search, a secret directory search, alaska news search, vehicles database etc. and voila. I found her home number listed in her husband's name. The point is I read in one of the news posts that a person with her husband's name died in a freak accident last year. Not sure if he is the same person but there's a possibility. The dilemma is 'Should I make that call?' and 'What do I say after all these years?' (ashamed). And moreso 'How the fuck did I get the number?' Okay, the third part might be forgiveable since she knows my twisted mind well.
I think I will make that call. At least I won't wonder through my life of what could have happened and regret not making that call. And I plan to visit Alaska in my next trip to US. Awesome is not the word to describe it. Look at her house pic amidst the density.
I think I will make that call. At least I won't wonder through my life of what could have happened and regret not making that call. And I plan to visit Alaska in my next trip to US. Awesome is not the word to describe it. Look at her house pic amidst the density.
And then during the peak snow.
Alaska is definitely next. It would be a sacrilege to miss it just like not visiting the Himalayas inspite of being born in India.
Alaska is definitely next. It would be a sacrilege to miss it just like not visiting the Himalayas inspite of being born in India.
Current music: Bette Midler - Wind Beneath My Wings
The Tiger's Tail
You remember that Kylie Minogue song, "Can't get you out of my head"? I hated that song. That tune stuck to my head inspite of me not liking it. And it was played at every damn discotheque in those days. Some people are like that. You would like to forget them but the more you try, the farther you reach from success. Letting go doesn't work either. What's the point of keeping away from them if they are going to be in your head all the while? It's better to stay connected and get mind fucked than stay away with the same result. Riding the tiger by the tail is not good sometimes.
Yes, it's U whom I am talking about here.
Current music - Tony Rich Project - Nobody Knows
Yes, it's U whom I am talking about here.
Current music - Tony Rich Project - Nobody Knows
3.30.2010
Culinary Twists
The New York crepe is yummm..And the Jack Daniels barbeque sauce..sinful...And very addictive..Yummmmmm....
No propoganda on any profession but wtf..
What Teachers Make, or
Objection Overruled, or
If things don't work out, you can always go to law school
By Taylor Mali
He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"
He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about
teachers:
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.
I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation to remind the other dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers.
Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.
"I mean, you¹re a teacher, Taylor," he says.
"Be honest. What do you make?"
And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking:
if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.
You want to know what I make?
I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor
and an A- feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.
I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won't I let you get a drink of water?
Because you're not thirsty, you're bored, that's why.
I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy said today.
Billy said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?"
And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.
I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.
You want to know what I make?
I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write, write, write.
And then I make them read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this (brains)
then you follow this (heart) and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this (the finger).
Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a goddamn difference! What about you?
www.taylormali.com
Video version available http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxsOVK4syxU
Objection Overruled, or
If things don't work out, you can always go to law school
By Taylor Mali
He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"
He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about
teachers:
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.
I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation to remind the other dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers.
Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.
"I mean, you¹re a teacher, Taylor," he says.
"Be honest. What do you make?"
And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking:
if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.
You want to know what I make?
I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor
and an A- feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.
I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won't I let you get a drink of water?
Because you're not thirsty, you're bored, that's why.
I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy said today.
Billy said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?"
And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.
I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.
You want to know what I make?
I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write, write, write.
And then I make them read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this (brains)
then you follow this (heart) and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this (the finger).
Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a goddamn difference! What about you?
www.taylormali.com
Video version available http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxsOVK4syxU
3.28.2010
The Hurt Locker
Mr. Magpie, if you were asked to describe The Hurt Locker in one word, what would it be?
WHITE Magpie: TAUT
WM: But I'd like to raise one very pertinent question to Mr. Obama or Bush. What the fuck is the US Army doing in Iraq?
About the movie: It gets my grudging full vote for holding the story. For that exquisite bass floating in at times. For reenforcing that man is a savage. Man is a barbarian. Man is a selfish assole.
Should I watch? Oh yeah.
What is the takeaway? Stop getting pissed with your partner, your kid, your boss, your neighbour whoever for all the silly shithole reasons in the world. Grow up. Appreciate your neighbour. Time is the most valuable commodity. Don't waste it. Please. Every moment. Counts.
And God Bless.
WHITE Magpie: TAUT
WM: But I'd like to raise one very pertinent question to Mr. Obama or Bush. What the fuck is the US Army doing in Iraq?
About the movie: It gets my grudging full vote for holding the story. For that exquisite bass floating in at times. For reenforcing that man is a savage. Man is a barbarian. Man is a selfish assole.
Should I watch? Oh yeah.
What is the takeaway? Stop getting pissed with your partner, your kid, your boss, your neighbour whoever for all the silly shithole reasons in the world. Grow up. Appreciate your neighbour. Time is the most valuable commodity. Don't waste it. Please. Every moment. Counts.
And God Bless.
3.11.2010
I Like This
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with your self.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken' on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Don't leave them in India and go somewhere (just kidding)
Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 you will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with your self.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken' on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Don't leave them in India and go somewhere (just kidding)
Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 you will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Sunta Hai Mera Khuda
Last week, I was doing the "spring cleaning" of my wardrobe and library. As I got up after picking a book, the top of the head hit the point of the open window and I literally had what you call a "free fall". Somehow, it didn't faze me what with all this crap happening this year with me. I came (I was alone in the house that time) to after a while and mopped up the blud. The spic and span feelings were long gone. I had some leftovers from my birthday cake, wiped it with a vanilla shake and went down for a walk. After a few calming moments near KBR park, I felt like going for a drive. Damn!! No car.
Hailed an auto and said, "Chalo". (Let's go)
Auto-guy: "Kidhar?" (Where?)
Me: "Arre tum kidhar bhi chalo, lekin pehle chalo". (Take it anywhere but first let's move from here)Bad Hindi but we from Mumbai are like this only.
So off we went. I directed him to the highway towards Mumbai. After 30 minutes of straight driving and 4-5 Hindi songs:
Rickshaw guy ventured again: "Kidhar ko jaana sahab?" (Sir, where do you want to go?)
Me: "U turn le lo aur vapas chalo". (Take a U-turn)
And the song from Pukaar - Sunta hain mera khuda started playing in the background. Earlier, I'd never paid mucho attention to the lyrics, beat or Rahman's genius. Moi attention used to switch to the gorgeous Namrata Shirodkar and end there. This time was different. I was on my back with the feet hanging out of the rickshaw going deeper into the song. What a song. It ended quicker than I wanted to; just when I couldn't have enough of it.
I thundered: Vapas lagao. (Play it again)
Auto guy stops the rickshaw: Kya? (What?)
Me: Grrr. Wo gaana vapas lagao deck pe. (Play that song on the damn deck again)
Sanity resumed. The song plays again. This could very well be THE WEDDING and HONEYMOON ballad. I imagined making excruciatingly slow love to my beloved listening to the lyric,"Kaho to main tere aage, Kamar peeche gajra daale, Doloon nasheeli chaal se" and so on. The visualization of the girl wearing fresh gajra around her waist and teasing me with her swinging gait conjured golden visions behind my closed eyelids. And bigtime goose bumps. Flowers in the hair have been a turn-on for me since childhood. As a child, I used to love women wearing flowers in their freshly washed hair or otherwise. Sadly, I miss that now. Worn cotton saris loosely draped around the waist, flowers in freshly washed hair, green or red glass bangles and I am your slave. But I had never imagined a woman wearing flowers around her waist and the thought titillated me intensely. I made him play it 5-6 times more till I reached home. Could be more but I am not sure. I gave him whatever money I had in my shorts pockets, scrambled up the stairs, downloaded the mp3 from songs.pk and the video from Limewire. Transferred it to my mp3 player, burned it to DVD and CD to be heard wherever I am. Had an ice cream and a smoke. Retired to bed with the mp3 player. The head was forgotten. Next morning, the dried crusts reminded me of the little agony in the shower but then I remembered the song and played it again. And again.
I wonder how many songs I have missed due to moi timely hormonal imbalances. But this is my perfect song for now. Moi antidote and current serotonin producing formula. Abhi sirf khuda sune to sab sahi hain :)
Hailed an auto and said, "Chalo". (Let's go)
Auto-guy: "Kidhar?" (Where?)
Me: "Arre tum kidhar bhi chalo, lekin pehle chalo". (Take it anywhere but first let's move from here)Bad Hindi but we from Mumbai are like this only.
So off we went. I directed him to the highway towards Mumbai. After 30 minutes of straight driving and 4-5 Hindi songs:
Rickshaw guy ventured again: "Kidhar ko jaana sahab?" (Sir, where do you want to go?)
Me: "U turn le lo aur vapas chalo". (Take a U-turn)
And the song from Pukaar - Sunta hain mera khuda started playing in the background. Earlier, I'd never paid mucho attention to the lyrics, beat or Rahman's genius. Moi attention used to switch to the gorgeous Namrata Shirodkar and end there. This time was different. I was on my back with the feet hanging out of the rickshaw going deeper into the song. What a song. It ended quicker than I wanted to; just when I couldn't have enough of it.
I thundered: Vapas lagao. (Play it again)
Auto guy stops the rickshaw: Kya? (What?)
Me: Grrr. Wo gaana vapas lagao deck pe. (Play that song on the damn deck again)
Sanity resumed. The song plays again. This could very well be THE WEDDING and HONEYMOON ballad. I imagined making excruciatingly slow love to my beloved listening to the lyric,"Kaho to main tere aage, Kamar peeche gajra daale, Doloon nasheeli chaal se" and so on. The visualization of the girl wearing fresh gajra around her waist and teasing me with her swinging gait conjured golden visions behind my closed eyelids. And bigtime goose bumps. Flowers in the hair have been a turn-on for me since childhood. As a child, I used to love women wearing flowers in their freshly washed hair or otherwise. Sadly, I miss that now. Worn cotton saris loosely draped around the waist, flowers in freshly washed hair, green or red glass bangles and I am your slave. But I had never imagined a woman wearing flowers around her waist and the thought titillated me intensely. I made him play it 5-6 times more till I reached home. Could be more but I am not sure. I gave him whatever money I had in my shorts pockets, scrambled up the stairs, downloaded the mp3 from songs.pk and the video from Limewire. Transferred it to my mp3 player, burned it to DVD and CD to be heard wherever I am. Had an ice cream and a smoke. Retired to bed with the mp3 player. The head was forgotten. Next morning, the dried crusts reminded me of the little agony in the shower but then I remembered the song and played it again. And again.
I wonder how many songs I have missed due to moi timely hormonal imbalances. But this is my perfect song for now. Moi antidote and current serotonin producing formula. Abhi sirf khuda sune to sab sahi hain :)
Obviously, current music is: Pukaar - Sunta Hai Mera Khuda
3.08.2010
Bum Bonus
Every working man waits for the bonus payout period, isn't it? That delightful month of getting chunky hits into the savings account. Visit sin city, shop till you drop, buy that blue chip stock etc. whatever hits your fancy. Well, for some reason I can never be accused of bonus gluttony. Like clockwork in every bonus period I get hit by some unfathomable huge dick expenses which invariably swallow moi bonus. Its unerring and now quite eerie. I've gone through anger, alarm, frustration, hope, prayer (yeah), madness and now am in acceptance. Read "The Secret" and tried it to he he. I try everything you know. Don't leave any stone unturned for anything I want in life. The last two companies I joined must have wondered when I didn't haggle too much over the bonus amount and meekly accepted their number.
As usual, this bonus month I am right up the creek with the proverbial paddle. From the nicest chunkiest bonus of my life so far, the "sudden" expenses will leave me with about 1.5 k to splurge. Fuck..I am going to give it to a beggar I know outside my office. At least someone can enjoy a "bonus", wotsay?
3.07.2010
I am planning to create different blogs on varied topics. I am still lazy to create sections within the same website. On philosophy, personal etc. The laughter one needs an update. Starting with Touch(e). You are probably familiar with some of the stories but nothing like having them in one place. Starting off with The Tiny Foot which never fails to overwhelm me.
2.26.2010
Past life regression
This is a fly by writing post written on the move but just had to put it down before I forget it.
I tried past-life regression therapy recently at one of the best institutes in India. In fact the most famous and recommended by Brian Wiess. Objective: Kill the smoking habit. Well, you can't blame a guy for not trying at least, right? I was trying Just Dial to find numbers of some well known hypnotherapists when this one popped up to. I am always curious about alternative methods but that will take another post altogether. So I spoke with this lady and made an appointment. I was all excited about the prospect of floating into my past life. For all I know, I might have been James Dean for krissakes. Or Hendrix. Bob Marley is more likely.
Got up early, did the yoga, 30 minutes of free hand exercises and took the sweating body for a long shower. A crisp white shirt, a dash of Boss perfume, breakfast of 8 bananas with a glass of milk and 3 boiled eggs was enough to send me on my way. Landed at 8.50 a.m. into the building and went up three steps at a time. Pindrop silence awaited me. At 9 sharp, a lady dressed in a white saree with long hair styled the South Indian way, white tikka and smelling of fresh flowers greeted me. She was one of the founding members. I soaked in her vibrations. Didn't detect any. We got down to business. She asked a few detailed questions about me, family, memories from birth, sex life, love life, friends, work, fears, passion, talent etc - you get it? Another lady arrived who was the one who would conduct the therapy. She looked around 40-45 years old, in very good shape and dressed similar to the first one. Greeted me warmly. We went over my details yet again but this time in a private room with me lying on the couch and the lights dimmed out. The atmosphere was a little different maybe due to her close proximity to me and her soothing voice. I could make out that she is trying to relax me and get into the hypnosis. Hmm. I forgot to mention that she made me do fast continuous breathing with closed eyes for around 45 minutes. She was quite impressed with my control over the breath and that was the point for another ten minute discussion on yoga.
Coming back to the point, she was trying to nudge me into a trance. I could hear her very clearly and think too about a lot of things at the same time. Things like "I have to reach office and do this", "watch a movie in the evening","meet S & P in the evening", "buy this and that" etc. I was also into my normal dreams where I am usually flying in the sky etc. All this happened at the same time. She persisted for quite sometime in gently getting me into a trance but to no avail. I was wide awake and all the drowsiness I felt was due to the dark and closed eyes. Eventually I got tired and asked her if we could close this. She tried to convince me that I was in the trance because I mentioned my flying etc on the couch but I didn't buy any of it. I paid her the session fees. She asked me to come for the next one. All of a sudden, she came over and gave me a long hug. We said our tatas and I was off to work.
A lot of talks happened between us but this was the gist of it. I just cannot get hypnotized in spite of giving in completely. So no more past-life regression for me. Looks great on TV but doesn't fly with me. The hunt for the smokes killer continues.
Got up early, did the yoga, 30 minutes of free hand exercises and took the sweating body for a long shower. A crisp white shirt, a dash of Boss perfume, breakfast of 8 bananas with a glass of milk and 3 boiled eggs was enough to send me on my way. Landed at 8.50 a.m. into the building and went up three steps at a time. Pindrop silence awaited me. At 9 sharp, a lady dressed in a white saree with long hair styled the South Indian way, white tikka and smelling of fresh flowers greeted me. She was one of the founding members. I soaked in her vibrations. Didn't detect any. We got down to business. She asked a few detailed questions about me, family, memories from birth, sex life, love life, friends, work, fears, passion, talent etc - you get it? Another lady arrived who was the one who would conduct the therapy. She looked around 40-45 years old, in very good shape and dressed similar to the first one. Greeted me warmly. We went over my details yet again but this time in a private room with me lying on the couch and the lights dimmed out. The atmosphere was a little different maybe due to her close proximity to me and her soothing voice. I could make out that she is trying to relax me and get into the hypnosis. Hmm. I forgot to mention that she made me do fast continuous breathing with closed eyes for around 45 minutes. She was quite impressed with my control over the breath and that was the point for another ten minute discussion on yoga.
Coming back to the point, she was trying to nudge me into a trance. I could hear her very clearly and think too about a lot of things at the same time. Things like "I have to reach office and do this", "watch a movie in the evening","meet S & P in the evening", "buy this and that" etc. I was also into my normal dreams where I am usually flying in the sky etc. All this happened at the same time. She persisted for quite sometime in gently getting me into a trance but to no avail. I was wide awake and all the drowsiness I felt was due to the dark and closed eyes. Eventually I got tired and asked her if we could close this. She tried to convince me that I was in the trance because I mentioned my flying etc on the couch but I didn't buy any of it. I paid her the session fees. She asked me to come for the next one. All of a sudden, she came over and gave me a long hug. We said our tatas and I was off to work.
A lot of talks happened between us but this was the gist of it. I just cannot get hypnotized in spite of giving in completely. So no more past-life regression for me. Looks great on TV but doesn't fly with me. The hunt for the smokes killer continues.
Current Music: Julee Cruise - Falling
2.23.2010
Tick Tock - The mind goes
So obviously I am still at work. I am allowed to post but cannot surf blogspot. How weird can a firewall be?
The grass always seems greener on the other side, right? Well, I know it, you know it and everybody else along with us. But still you sometimes can't help and wonder - What if? And then the mind starts dragging you to Aladdin's cave to those delicious memories kept hidden and covered. To tread on those with trepidation and childish delight. Laugh and feel the wonderglow at the same time. Tears too. Everything seems deep. You tend to miss the sorrow too. How much shittier can you get? Thankfully, I don't let that happen in complete awareness but once in a while the mind slips through my defence. And if I am coincidentally improving the house that Bud built, it gets into more of the quicksand, mush and maudlin.
Obviously, it happened recently and so I am writing about it. Not the contents though. Sometimes the mind pulls out a memory which even your sub-conscious has forgotten and it's almost like living it altogether again with the same amount of wonder. But I am appalled with the mind for a reason. At times these days, I can't control what I forget. Maybe Verve's Bittersweet Symphony would fit the music this time, but I remember one even better.
Current Music: Johnny Hates Jazz - Turn Back The Clock
The grass always seems greener on the other side, right? Well, I know it, you know it and everybody else along with us. But still you sometimes can't help and wonder - What if? And then the mind starts dragging you to Aladdin's cave to those delicious memories kept hidden and covered. To tread on those with trepidation and childish delight. Laugh and feel the wonderglow at the same time. Tears too. Everything seems deep. You tend to miss the sorrow too. How much shittier can you get? Thankfully, I don't let that happen in complete awareness but once in a while the mind slips through my defence. And if I am coincidentally improving the house that Bud built, it gets into more of the quicksand, mush and maudlin.
Obviously, it happened recently and so I am writing about it. Not the contents though. Sometimes the mind pulls out a memory which even your sub-conscious has forgotten and it's almost like living it altogether again with the same amount of wonder. But I am appalled with the mind for a reason. At times these days, I can't control what I forget. Maybe Verve's Bittersweet Symphony would fit the music this time, but I remember one even better.
Current Music: Johnny Hates Jazz - Turn Back The Clock
Killer time
Actually I want to write so much but all the inspiration strikes me when I am extremely comfortable on the bed in the middle of the night or post-ablution nirvana in the loo. I wish I could record my thoughts on some energy tablet and post it on blogger. Till man invents something like this, I guess I am the irregular period :)
Current Music: Alan Parsons Project - Time
Man going mental!!
For once I dont feel like going home today. Just a downer of a phase and I am hanging around in the office.
2010 has got off to a bad start for me. I was in Mumbai for 7 days. Lost my phone - 20K. Then had some unimaginable sudden huge expenditure - 64K. And on the same day of return, the car's fuel injection system crashed - 8K. And now the office is trying to drive me insane - priceless. The peace I mean. Thank God for yoga. Shambho Shambho!! The silver lining was my sis gifting me the same cell phone the next morning to maintain continuity. Raksha bandhan ka karzaa chukaya usne.
But net net I have to get out of here quickly. The office I mean. Permanently. Just coming to work gives me ulcers now. The bile is killing moi throat.
And in the midst of all this crazy shit, nostalgia troubles me. People, you know, never change :)
2010 has got off to a bad start for me. I was in Mumbai for 7 days. Lost my phone - 20K. Then had some unimaginable sudden huge expenditure - 64K. And on the same day of return, the car's fuel injection system crashed - 8K. And now the office is trying to drive me insane - priceless. The peace I mean. Thank God for yoga. Shambho Shambho!! The silver lining was my sis gifting me the same cell phone the next morning to maintain continuity. Raksha bandhan ka karzaa chukaya usne.
But net net I have to get out of here quickly. The office I mean. Permanently. Just coming to work gives me ulcers now. The bile is killing moi throat.
And in the midst of all this crazy shit, nostalgia troubles me. People, you know, never change :)
Current music: Thomas Newman - Revolutionary Road
2.05.2010
Be Straight!!
Well, thank God for blogs. Or whoever started them. At least its an outlet to let loose your thoughts. Somedays they take the form of poetry and sheer creativity. On other days they are venomous. And yet some other days are bland like noodles. Whatever form they take, all that is reflected is the writer's current mental state at that particular time. Unless of course, he or she has written it and posted later. And I am no different. Usually it is typing something in a notepad, pasting it in the blog, a little bit of formatting and voila. No elaborate preparation or thoughts go into it. Unless I am looking for specific feedback which I have done a couple of times during the early blogging days.
I am learning to cook these days. And immensely enjoying it. Just the possibility of the taste altering by different usage and quantity of spices excites me. Not to mention the amount of experimentation which can go into making an omlette. Too bad I don't know the English names for some of the things I use or I could whip up a nice recipe here.
So far in my life I have never "prepared" for anything. Prepared as in done the groundwork, analysis, elaborate thought process and pain to achieve the end result. And this is true in everything I have done so far - relationships, work, education, growing up, health, wealth and everything else. I've never laid the groundwork for pataoing a girl. I've never sown the seeds for working on what I want to do in my life. I've never done adequate batting for impressing my boss. I've never done the necessary thing to amass wealth. Ditto for education. It has all been a pure gut feel so far. And it has served me well in about 70% of my life changing decisions so far. And the other minor ones too. Today I feel that for being capable of handling anything in your life, you need to invest that time and effort. At least in the early portion of life which decides what happens to you later. For causing a change in what you want and getting the result, immense planning and focus is necessary. Only then something will flower. Decide what you want and go completely after it. And this insight came to me via cooking. These days I am taking a shot at doing all the things I used to hate earlier.
No point in rueing about how some of the things in life have turned out so far but like cooking, I have set across to strengthen myself and invest in time to lay those bricks which will hold my building ready later down in life.
A very poignant and immensely powerful sentence consisting of two words was shared with me - "Be Straight". The first was in one of Jaggi Vasudev's books. The other by a very close yet so far person. It is extremely important to be completely straight with yourself in what you want at any juncture in life. No dicing, dithering, beating around the bush, refusing to accept whats in your face, covering the unsaid and so on. And it can be anything in life - money, sex, love, fame, spirituality et al. As long as you are honest that this is what you want and willing to pay whatever the price, you will go end up getting completely screwed in the latter stages. Entangled. Confused. Schizophrenic. And too late for anything.
Current Music: Pink Floyd - What do you want from me?
I am learning to cook these days. And immensely enjoying it. Just the possibility of the taste altering by different usage and quantity of spices excites me. Not to mention the amount of experimentation which can go into making an omlette. Too bad I don't know the English names for some of the things I use or I could whip up a nice recipe here.
So far in my life I have never "prepared" for anything. Prepared as in done the groundwork, analysis, elaborate thought process and pain to achieve the end result. And this is true in everything I have done so far - relationships, work, education, growing up, health, wealth and everything else. I've never laid the groundwork for pataoing a girl. I've never sown the seeds for working on what I want to do in my life. I've never done adequate batting for impressing my boss. I've never done the necessary thing to amass wealth. Ditto for education. It has all been a pure gut feel so far. And it has served me well in about 70% of my life changing decisions so far. And the other minor ones too. Today I feel that for being capable of handling anything in your life, you need to invest that time and effort. At least in the early portion of life which decides what happens to you later. For causing a change in what you want and getting the result, immense planning and focus is necessary. Only then something will flower. Decide what you want and go completely after it. And this insight came to me via cooking. These days I am taking a shot at doing all the things I used to hate earlier.
No point in rueing about how some of the things in life have turned out so far but like cooking, I have set across to strengthen myself and invest in time to lay those bricks which will hold my building ready later down in life.
A very poignant and immensely powerful sentence consisting of two words was shared with me - "Be Straight". The first was in one of Jaggi Vasudev's books. The other by a very close yet so far person. It is extremely important to be completely straight with yourself in what you want at any juncture in life. No dicing, dithering, beating around the bush, refusing to accept whats in your face, covering the unsaid and so on. And it can be anything in life - money, sex, love, fame, spirituality et al. As long as you are honest that this is what you want and willing to pay whatever the price, you will go end up getting completely screwed in the latter stages. Entangled. Confused. Schizophrenic. And too late for anything.
Current Music: Pink Floyd - What do you want from me?
2.04.2010
The Runaway Train
Have you ever known people whom you have never met in person but who have affected you deeply and then disappeared completely? It could be via chat, phone or anything else. I am not talking only about love affairs here. Rather I would exclude those from this subject right now. And those are always the intelligent ones with a really mad streak which you can detect at times during the conversation. That really attractive mad streak. I was recently reading "Timepass" - a sort of autobiography of Protima Bedi (Pooja Bedi's mother and Kabir Bedi's ex-wife). What a mad utterly bold character. She reminded me of this lass from Texas whom I used to chat with in the early internet days, ex-girlfriend of one of the band members of Lynnrd Skynnrd and partly working with the US army. She had that fiery streak, that unpredictability which I could sense even across the modem, that insanity as part of her regular personality which was quite intriguing. Suddenly one day she left her boyfriend of 5 years telling him he bored her, packed her bags and went to UK. Fucked around quite a bit, came back and shifted to Seattle. Got deep into massage therapy, a little bit of shamanism, fucked around a lot again, came back for sometime to her parents in Texas for some healing and got lost in Seattle again. Breaking a lot of hearts on the way. Guys absolutely besotted with her. Doing quite a bit of weird things to get her back. Ah those long write-ups. I don't know what happened to her after that. You see I lost her email password.
Protima reminded me of her yesterday. It's best not to wonder sometime.
Protima reminded me of her yesterday. It's best not to wonder sometime.
Current music: Michael Jackson - Gone Too Soon
2.01.2010
Confessions of a resume writer in denial
So like I mentioned earlier I think its time for me to move on. Perhaps. The doubt still lingers. To propel this thought forward, I spent considerable time making my experience docket, dribbling it with key experiences etc and finally uploaded it on a couple of mainstream job sites. A couple of days later, I got a call which went like this:
Caller (female): Hi, am I speaking to XXX?
Me: Who wants to know?
caller: I am Pooja calling from Naukri.
Thinking this to be a sales pitch for their resume services, I grumbled a little mentally but persevered to see what she said next.
Me: Yes, I am XXX. What is the context of this call?
Pooja: Sir, we came across your recently uploaded CV on our website and wanted to speak to you about it.
Me: Umm.
Pooja: Did you avail of any professional resume writing services for the CV?
Here comes the pitch. Or so I thought.
Me: Nope. I don't need any professional assistance to make a CV. I need it to find a great opportunity.
Pooja: You made it yourself?
My nose was on the grindstone by then. I hate repeating myself. Typical male trait. So with a few deep breaths, I replied:
Me: Yes.
Pooja: And did you take the help of anyone?
Me: Why so many questions about it?
Pooja: Actually when we saw this CV, we thought you are a professional resume writer. We haven't seen such a professional and creative CV in a long time.
Umm..this was interesting. So I bit my tongue.
Pooja: My Director would like to speak to you at a convenient time. Could you advise a suitable time?
Me thinking - Wow. What is this about?
Me actually: Sure. Say in 30 minutes?
Pooja: Ok. She'll call you.
After 30 minutes:
Director: Hi, this is Rashmi from Naukri. Thanks for etc. etc.
Me: Yeah thanks. Hope you are doing good etc.etc.
Director: Could you share your professional experience with me?
Me: Ok. I've done etc etc etc yada ya. Went on for 5 minutes. So that's about it in a nutshell.
Director: Wonderful. To come to the point I'd like to make you an offer. We are really impressed with your CV and the way you have put that information in a concise creative format. We wanted to ask if you would consider working for us professionally.
Me is wondering which experience in me CV is relevant to naukri.
Me: Umm. What kind of work?
Director: Would you like to join our creative team in a xx position to help aspiring individuals build better CV's?
I am tongue-tied here.
Me: Umm. But I am looking to make my career in selling offshoring services. I have no experience in your kind of work.
Director: Your CV more than speaks about your creative skills which we can use. It would be a shame to let it go waste.
Happy glow pervading all over my face.
Me: Thanks for the appreciation. But I really am focussed on making a career in sales and then my own consulting business.
After a few more tries:
Director: How about doing the CV's on a free lance basis for us in your spare time?
I let out a loud groan.
Me: It took me almost 5 days to put that thing together. And a lot of induced creativity. I don't think so.
Director: We are ready to pay xxxx per CV.
Angel on one shoulder and the devil pops on another.
Me: Thanks but it would be too much effort and I really wouldn't be doing justice to my current job or you.
Director: Please do think about this. Pooja will call you again in a few days to check with you.
Me: Sure. Thanks a ton. And wish you a good day ahead. I only hope it helps me gain entry into a good firm.
Director: I'm sure the least it will do is open doors for you but think about it. Have a good day.
WTF? What kind of a curveball was that? I put the pillow over my head and went off to sleep. It reminded me of my interview with the editor of Mid-day. I'll write about it someday later.
Caller (female): Hi, am I speaking to XXX?
Me: Who wants to know?
caller: I am Pooja calling from Naukri.
Thinking this to be a sales pitch for their resume services, I grumbled a little mentally but persevered to see what she said next.
Me: Yes, I am XXX. What is the context of this call?
Pooja: Sir, we came across your recently uploaded CV on our website and wanted to speak to you about it.
Me: Umm.
Pooja: Did you avail of any professional resume writing services for the CV?
Here comes the pitch. Or so I thought.
Me: Nope. I don't need any professional assistance to make a CV. I need it to find a great opportunity.
Pooja: You made it yourself?
My nose was on the grindstone by then. I hate repeating myself. Typical male trait. So with a few deep breaths, I replied:
Me: Yes.
Pooja: And did you take the help of anyone?
Me: Why so many questions about it?
Pooja: Actually when we saw this CV, we thought you are a professional resume writer. We haven't seen such a professional and creative CV in a long time.
Umm..this was interesting. So I bit my tongue.
Pooja: My Director would like to speak to you at a convenient time. Could you advise a suitable time?
Me thinking - Wow. What is this about?
Me actually: Sure. Say in 30 minutes?
Pooja: Ok. She'll call you.
After 30 minutes:
Director: Hi, this is Rashmi from Naukri. Thanks for etc. etc.
Me: Yeah thanks. Hope you are doing good etc.etc.
Director: Could you share your professional experience with me?
Me: Ok. I've done etc etc etc yada ya. Went on for 5 minutes. So that's about it in a nutshell.
Director: Wonderful. To come to the point I'd like to make you an offer. We are really impressed with your CV and the way you have put that information in a concise creative format. We wanted to ask if you would consider working for us professionally.
Me is wondering which experience in me CV is relevant to naukri.
Me: Umm. What kind of work?
Director: Would you like to join our creative team in a xx position to help aspiring individuals build better CV's?
I am tongue-tied here.
Me: Umm. But I am looking to make my career in selling offshoring services. I have no experience in your kind of work.
Director: Your CV more than speaks about your creative skills which we can use. It would be a shame to let it go waste.
Happy glow pervading all over my face.
Me: Thanks for the appreciation. But I really am focussed on making a career in sales and then my own consulting business.
After a few more tries:
Director: How about doing the CV's on a free lance basis for us in your spare time?
I let out a loud groan.
Me: It took me almost 5 days to put that thing together. And a lot of induced creativity. I don't think so.
Director: We are ready to pay xxxx per CV.
Angel on one shoulder and the devil pops on another.
Me: Thanks but it would be too much effort and I really wouldn't be doing justice to my current job or you.
Director: Please do think about this. Pooja will call you again in a few days to check with you.
Me: Sure. Thanks a ton. And wish you a good day ahead. I only hope it helps me gain entry into a good firm.
Director: I'm sure the least it will do is open doors for you but think about it. Have a good day.
WTF? What kind of a curveball was that? I put the pillow over my head and went off to sleep. It reminded me of my interview with the editor of Mid-day. I'll write about it someday later.
P.S - Names have been changed to protect identities yada yada...
Current Music: CCR: Bad Moon Rising
Late Night Encounters
I was driving home on the weekend from Whisper Valley. It's a steep climb for a kilometer or so, largely unilluminated and without a divide to add to the agony. Before this I must mention that I've narrowly missed have huge accidents on three occasions in the past week. I attribute it to the huge Chinese good luck charm that hangs from the rearview mirror and the horse shoe cufflinks I wear at times. It's not that my senses are not on alert these days. One of those phases which are unfathomable to the ordinary mind.
I put the fog lamp on for good measure 'cause sometimes even the two legged creatures who take a piss at the side and choose to cross the road in gay abandon are hard to spot at times. Halfway up the climb I suddenly noticed this puppy heading right under its glorified death - the right front wheel. I twisted the wheel in full force, slammed the brakes but couldn't escape the triple squeals - one from the victim, one from my car and the rest from the fellow road travellers. I imagined a bump too as if the tyre had passed over a small lump on the road. Fearing the worst and amidst the loud squealing and whimpering emanating below the middle of the car, I got down and tried to place the little bundle. It stood right between the rear two wheels obviously in pain but thank the lord - uncrushed in any way. I tried to hold it below its armpits and pull it out but the little bastard nipped my pinky :). Instant justice I think but I persisted in my efforts all the time making appropriate noises from my throat. This was a nice little drama in the middle of the road and some cars had by then positioned their cars with full headlights to help my case. I gave up for a couple of minutes and the puppy ceased its squealing by a couple of octaves. A couple of deep breaths and I pulled the puppy out as gently and as fast as possible before it realized that I suckered it and held it up for fresh air. It jumped right out of my arms, scrambled through the hole in the fence of a nearby garden and started howling to glory. Ach!! I parked the car next to the fence, opened the dicky and removed some of the biscuits I had bought from Hypercity. And thus started the patient wait. A few doggie whistles, a few yu yu's and I was feeling like a kid already. My heart was in my mouth though as I had seen it limp and drag itself to the garden.
10 minutes: No go.
20 minutes: The puppy went deeper into the bushes but was still in the garden.
25 minutes: I threw a few biscuits on the path leading to its hideout trying all sorts of whistles.
30 minutes: Puppy does a peek a boo, ventures out and goes right back in.
40 minutes: A loud bark and another dog gets into the garden. The puppy yelps and rushes out through the whole limping and squealing again. By now I know the fella is only scared and maybe bruised a little. I grabbed him up and gave it a hug for a few minutes.
There were these two street kids watching this whole drama unfold all this while. So I took the puppy and the kids to the nearby tea shop. The three of us had tea, the doggy had biscuits and I lit up. The doggy licked my pinkie in consolation and sat nicely ensconced in my arms. We sat this way for a while with MJ crooning "I just cant stop loving you". And then with a heavy heart I placed it back where it belonged and went my way. Smelling of dog and clothes layered with dog hair.
But felt much much lighter in the right place. Like I said in an earlier post, if you give anyone enough time and space it melts even the toughest cookie. One point at a time.
I put the fog lamp on for good measure 'cause sometimes even the two legged creatures who take a piss at the side and choose to cross the road in gay abandon are hard to spot at times. Halfway up the climb I suddenly noticed this puppy heading right under its glorified death - the right front wheel. I twisted the wheel in full force, slammed the brakes but couldn't escape the triple squeals - one from the victim, one from my car and the rest from the fellow road travellers. I imagined a bump too as if the tyre had passed over a small lump on the road. Fearing the worst and amidst the loud squealing and whimpering emanating below the middle of the car, I got down and tried to place the little bundle. It stood right between the rear two wheels obviously in pain but thank the lord - uncrushed in any way. I tried to hold it below its armpits and pull it out but the little bastard nipped my pinky :). Instant justice I think but I persisted in my efforts all the time making appropriate noises from my throat. This was a nice little drama in the middle of the road and some cars had by then positioned their cars with full headlights to help my case. I gave up for a couple of minutes and the puppy ceased its squealing by a couple of octaves. A couple of deep breaths and I pulled the puppy out as gently and as fast as possible before it realized that I suckered it and held it up for fresh air. It jumped right out of my arms, scrambled through the hole in the fence of a nearby garden and started howling to glory. Ach!! I parked the car next to the fence, opened the dicky and removed some of the biscuits I had bought from Hypercity. And thus started the patient wait. A few doggie whistles, a few yu yu's and I was feeling like a kid already. My heart was in my mouth though as I had seen it limp and drag itself to the garden.
10 minutes: No go.
20 minutes: The puppy went deeper into the bushes but was still in the garden.
25 minutes: I threw a few biscuits on the path leading to its hideout trying all sorts of whistles.
30 minutes: Puppy does a peek a boo, ventures out and goes right back in.
40 minutes: A loud bark and another dog gets into the garden. The puppy yelps and rushes out through the whole limping and squealing again. By now I know the fella is only scared and maybe bruised a little. I grabbed him up and gave it a hug for a few minutes.
There were these two street kids watching this whole drama unfold all this while. So I took the puppy and the kids to the nearby tea shop. The three of us had tea, the doggy had biscuits and I lit up. The doggy licked my pinkie in consolation and sat nicely ensconced in my arms. We sat this way for a while with MJ crooning "I just cant stop loving you". And then with a heavy heart I placed it back where it belonged and went my way. Smelling of dog and clothes layered with dog hair.
But felt much much lighter in the right place. Like I said in an earlier post, if you give anyone enough time and space it melts even the toughest cookie. One point at a time.
Current music: Lobo: Me and You and a dog named Boo
1.29.2010
Time to move on
I think I am nearing the end of my stay in Hyderabad. For various reasons. Chief amongst them being not able to connect perhaps. Maybe I will move to a foreign location for some years. I am caught between Uncle Sam and EU land. What are your thoughts on the pros and cons here?
1.22.2010
Instinct..
I saw Basic Instinct II recently. I have not yet seen the first part thinking it to be full of xxx and no story but will do it now. I could relate to Sharon's character. Hmm..
Current Music: UB40 - Higher Ground
Current Music: UB40 - Higher Ground